So what did I think of the new Friday the 13th?

A better question would be why do you even care? But if you've stumbled onto this blog or are one of my many (i.e. 2) followers, then you are truly interested in my thoughts on the remake/retelling/re-imagining/recycling or whatever they're calling it these days of the Sean Cunningham classic.

But better yet, but what do I think of the series of 10 films (11 if you count Freddy Vs. Jason)? To be honest, I have always liked the character of Jason Voorhees but was never a huge fan of the Friday series. Sacrilegious in some horror circles, I know, but I was always more of a Freddy fan myself (even though that series deserves a write-up, cursing the many sequels except for New Nightmare).


Don't get me wrong, I am a big supporter of stuntmen who get the chance to shine through a ton of prosthetics and get to be the main villain (or hero to some) in these films. Especially Kane Hodder, who took full advantage of this in 4 Friday films (and sadly, 3 of which are almost unwatchable and 1 of which is a true guilty pleasure, especially with the death of David Cronenberg right in the beginning).

But then Freddy Vs. Jason came along and I thought it would be a rebirth of sorts to the Freddy of old. But watching it again this past week, I didn't remember disliking it as much as I did. I think initially, the adrenaline pumping through my horror cortex blocked the bullshit meter throughout my body, therefore showing me a film that was good. The high is gone now and the only redeeming quality of that film is Ken Kirzinger's rendition of Jason. He gave Jason a little bit of sympathy, even when he's slaughtering everyone around him. You feel bad for him because ultimately Freddy Krueger is the bastard. But it really seemed that even Robert Englund, who I love to death, was just phoning in a Freddy performance.

So when the re-imagining (that's what they're calling it) of Friday the 13th was announced, I wasn't pissed about it. I wasn't pissed when I heard Kane Hodder wasn't coming back but a newcomer to the mask, Derek Mears, was announced. When I saw a press photo of him, I was astonished. He looked like a massive brick wall with skin on it. So underneath the bulk of Jason's shabby clothes, if he could mime the attitude of Jason then that's all that needed to be done. They announced a new young group of kids who would be wandering around the woods and therefore be easy prey for Jason's machete (or whatever else he could find. He's a handy guy.) So unlike the remakes of Halloween or even The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I wasn't as invested in this film's former films being tarnished. If anything, all you could really do with Jason was go up from a pile of shit.

So I got to see an advanced screening the week before it came out, Saturday the 7th to be exact. I didn't want to review it then, considering it would be breaking the embargo they so lovingly have up and also I wanted to give it a second whirl, to make sure it wasn't the same high I had when seeing F vs J. Seeing it again on Friday the 13th, for my friend's birthday in theater 13 itself with a sold out paid crowd of nincompoops who can't shut up and like to hoot and holler throughout it all, what did I think of it after that?

I want to see it a third time. It's that much fun, an experienced slasher flick which might be the dawning of a new era in slasher flicks in general. Is it a good film? Well, that's a tricky subject. Is it good at what it does? It definitely is great at that. It starts off well, showcasing a little homage to the original Mama Voorhees intro then comes to present day and shows a now hulking brute of Potato Sack Jason from number 2 but as opposed to being a stupid retarded redneck who almost fell on his ass throughout that film, this Jason is more methodical. More menacing and with a wicked sense of humor (I want to know if silicone melts and so does Jason. I'll leave it at that). He picks off each camper with ease and with a pot farm I believe is his (what better way to lure idiotic kids the like that killed his dear old mom), it's a matter of time before the actual hero of the story (played by Jared Padalecki of Supernatural fame) comes into play, looking for his sister who was last seen going to Crystal Lake.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Well, it's a little throwback to number 4 as well. Besides the 3D effects, this retelling of Jason's origin is a cross between the first 4 films but with an update of course. This time, as producer Brad Fuller has mentioned many times before, there's more sex and boobs. I mean, what kind of slasher flick doesn't have that but re-watching the original films, looking back at them all now they seem much more tame than I remembered. It must mean I'm desensitized from all the horror films I've seen, but that can't be all true though. I still get a bit disheartened by films depicting rape and violence intermixed, such as Last House on the Left and I Spit on Your Grave, both of which I've watched once back to back and felt as uneasy as a fat kid on the top bunk.

This film plays with the dynamics of the slasher flick, throwing some sly curveballs at the viewer to throw them off a bit. Showing a room full of possible weapons in a tool shed is a fun little hint at what might come but when Jason ultimately chooses an ordinary screwdriver (which was attempted to be used on him), it's actually the most horrific death in the movie, which made this gorehound here a happy... well, you get the picture.

Is there one actor in this movie that steals the show? Well, I'd have to give it up to two specific actors that make the movie a memorable experience. One of course would be Derek Mears, who gives Jason a new set of moves, throwing some homages to the old films to keep the fans of the series happy. He emits a lot of anger and thought without uttering a word and seeing a Jason that's 6 foot 5 inches running at full speed at someone is kind of like what Danny Boyle did with the zombie movie in 28 Days Later. He took a once scary monster that was getting a bit stagnant and turned up the velocity and made it frightening again, and that's what the folks at Platinum Dunes did for Jason. I never thought I would say that to be honest, but I love being wrong.

The other actor who makes you hate everything he says and want his comeuppance is Travis Van Winkle's Trent. He's such a loathsome character that you can't believe survives as long as he does, but it all makes sense if you've watched as many slasher flicks as I have. The asshole tends to live a long time, basically throwing other good people in the way of the killer to make sure they last just a bit longer. So when he finally gets his, the crowd cheers even though when you sit back and think about it, does he deserve to actually die? In slasher film rules, yes he does. He deserves to die a terrible death. So watch out for him playing a ton of assholes in the years to come (he was also Megan Fox's boyfriend in Transformers, where again he played a sexist creep who you just want to see his nose get broken in 3 spots).

This film won't win any Academy Awards or be liked by the big film reviewers of newspapers and the like, and I'm glad. I haven't followed any film reviewer like that in years. It's a dying breed and the only reason they are still around is because the big film companies love to pay them to give them beautiful blurbs on their movies posters and DVD boxes. The Joel Siegel's, the Gene Shalit's, the Jeffrey Lyon's... and yes, I know Joel Siegel is dead, and I'm quite surprised they haven't rehashed some of his grand commentary on film theory on newer flicks. Nobody would probably notice anyway. Zombie Joel Siegel on the other hand... now there's a thought.

And looking at the box office numbers, it appears to be that Jason is back on top, taking $42.2 million in its first weekend. That a hell of a number, considering the budget was under $20 million. So it's already a profitable film, which means sequel will be announced this week. I actually want to see what they will put Jason through the next one and I'm happy he's not zombie Jason or mystical Jason of later years. Keep him as a living entity, a backwoods boogeyman of sorts that stalks down stupid kids who do stupid things. We're not talking rocket science. Keep them simple, make the kills fun and the victims good looking people and stupid as hell and people will keep coming back. But the deciding factor is Jason and who's behind the mask. Let's keep Derek Mears there. Not only was he the perfect Jason for the new era but he's also a hell of a nice guy with a very strong handshake.

So I'll give the film a See It grade. It's fun, there's some good kills and you actually care about a few of the kids, something I'm not used to. But sadly there's no Crispin Glover type dancing. If there was, this film would be perfect

Coming this week, some more Netflixorama entries. Hopefully I can get back on board and do them as often as I'd like.