Cat Shit One

All I can say is, "Wow." I saw this trailer today and at first didn't know if it was a joke or not. It wasn't because I thought it was funny. It was because it looked really good. An Iraq war film/series... but with animals? So of course I did some digging around and found out a bit about this series.



Cat Shit One, or as it is called in America, Apocalypse Meow (pretty clever) was a 1998 manga series from Motofumi Kobayashi published by Softbank Publishing. It originally depicted the Vietnam War in three volumes, and the soldiers fighting against the Cats (Vietnamese), their daily lives and how they come to grips with the world around them. And they say comics are for kids?

Each animal depicts a different nationality. Rabbits are Americans, Pandas are Chinese, Rats are British and so on and so forth. It mainly follows three characters, Bota, Perky and Rats who are in the reconnaissance group Cat Shit One and their battles with the evil Cats. Now all I need to do is track down all three volumes and read them back to front as fast as possible.



It looks as though they changed the setting of the story to the deserts of Iraq, which makes a bit of sense. Give it that 'now' factor that's missing from a lot of war films (and I'm being extremely sarcastic there). But not to gripe with their decision, it still looks like some great violent action. Almost reminds me a bit of We3, which I'm still waiting for to be made into a film.

So hopefully sometime soon we can see more of this action. For now, let's appreciate animals getting blown away by one another. That's always a fun time.

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Moments in Filmery: Nic Cage + Jared Leto = Cold Embrace?

This is a still from a guilty pleasure of mine, Lord of War. I consider it a guilty pleasure mainly because it's against my nature to regard any Nicolas Cage film after 1999 as a quality film worth watching.

Nicolas Cage (left) plays an arms dealer. Jared Leto (right) plays his drug addict brother. This is a scene where Jared's character obviously needs 'help' and Nic's character is supposed to look "concerned". But, with the dialed-in aura that Mr. Cage brings to the table, this moment can be viewed in a couple of different ways.

Let's explore the plausible options:

1. Jared loves Cages' tie.
   
2. Cage is not impressed by the cotton blend Jared's zip-up hoodie is made out of. Apparently, 20% polyester should only be used for Cage's hairpieces
3. Product placement for AXE body spray proves that even hot chicks like Jared Leto can't resist the scent. ...
   ....
   ..He's a dude?
   But.. the eye liner?
   .... ok.
4. Cage's subliminal way of protesting gay marriage in America.

There are many other concepts that may arise from this one frame of pseudo-homo-erotic glory. Share some of your own.

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Netflixorama: French Parkour Action Film Edition

For all of you who are new to the site, Netflixorama is my excuse to catch up with movies I never had the chance to see or haven't seen in quite some time. It's a fun little exercise in my movie intake and maybe a good way for all of you out there to see what you should be checking out or trying to stay away from.

Today's entry is a fun action film that I somehow missed to see it every chance I had. The film is Banlieue 13 or District 13 to American movie goers out there. It heavily uses the activity of parkour (l'art du déplacement or the art of movement) in many of its stunt and action sequences, which in turn means there is no wire or CGI effects. For an action film fan like myself, it's a fantastic change of pace from today's standard fare.





David Belle, a co-founder of parkour, co-stars as Leïto, a street wise youth who rules over his own apartment building in District B13, which is a suburb of Paris, in the year 2010. It's been overrun by gangs and it's become a feudal system of sorts between all the gang factions in B13. He hates drugs in his neighborhood and has been waging a war against neighboring gang lord Taha Bemamud. He's just stolen a 20kg of heroin which is worth one million euros, which incites Taha to send his goons to Leïto's building to get the drugs back. He sends his main grunt K2 (which you can tell by having it shaved in the back of his head) with a little army but they're too late; Leïto has destroyed the drugs in his bathtub with bleach and evades the group with his parkour skills in a thrilling opening chase.

K2 brings the bad news back to Taha, which then prompts him to ask if they have any ideas on how to get back his one million euros. Everyone is quiet, so he starts shooting goons one by one until he gets to K2 who screams out that they should have Leïto pay... by kidnapping his younger sister Lola and holding her up for ransom. They go to the supermarket she works at and take her hostage back to Taha's stronghold. And this is where the film gives me a bit of a surprise. Instead of the usual 'How's the hero going to get in?' type of story, Leïto just jumps in through the window and takes Taha hostage in a matter of seconds. It was a good change of story structure, which told me that this film would be a bit different.



He and his sister take Taha to the border of B13 and to the police, who are packing up to leave the walled up district behind for good. He shows them proof of Taha's drug trafficking and instead of the police taking Taha in custody, they take Leïto instead and lock him up and let Taha go with Lola. This enrages Leïto to the point of grabbing the police chief and breaking his neck with a knee stomp.



It then goes to 6 months later and we focus on undercover police captain Damien Tomaso (Cyril Raffaelli), who infiltrates a crime boss' underground casino and attempts to arrest only the boss. Of course an insane fire fight begins and Damien, with a fun fight scene, using parts of the casino to fight off the goons. I apologize for the above video being dubbed. For some reason people don't like subtitles, which boggles my mind.



Of course he triumphs but that doesn't mean he gets time to be congratulated. He's called in by the chief and Defense Secretary of France, Mr Krüger, and is assigned with a vital mission to get into district B13 and to disarm a neutron bomb stolen by Taha's men. He also has to somehow convince Leïto, who is still in prison, to help guide him in B13. Did I mention that he also has less than 24 hours to disarm the bomb? This makes for some great character work. Character work within an action film like this? You'd be surprised, but sometimes you just need to look deep down within an action film.

Damien and Leïto meet in a police truck transferring them to another prison, where Damien is pretending to be a fellow prisoner. Damien breaks free, gets rid of the two cops up front and befriends Leïto, or so he thinks. Leïto isn't that stupid, suspects everyone of trying to screw him over, and handcuffs Damien to the steering wheel. He tells him to keep driving, even through the police barricade and with the tires, steering and brakes destroyed, he crashes into some gang member's brand new sports car. Leïto tells him he knows he's a cop and tells him to figure his way out.



The film deals with a lot of heavy issues, most of which going on in France and the rest of the world, especially when it comes to class struggles. District 13 is a ghetto to the rich and citizens of Paris would rather see it wiped off the face of the Earth than see any change occur there. They've gotten rid of the schools, the police, even the post office from there, shutting it out from the rest of France. It's basically kill or be killed beyond those walls and barbed wire, which is why you have all these hardened killers and criminals who are in charge while people like Leïto try to fight the evil with their own style but feel as if the law has turned their backs on them. Which in this alternate future timeline, it has. There's a lot of twists and turns and it's all spelled out for the viewer very easily in the eyes of Leïto, who finds it a bit suspicious that a neutron bomb was so easily robbed and left in district B13.

I realize I'm going through the whole basic storyline, so I'll stop right there. I'd rather you all just rent it or buy it (which I'll be doing soon) but I'll speak about a few of the things that you wouldn't know by just watching the film. The film was co-written and co-produced by Luc Besson, of Leon, La Femme Nikita and The Fifth Element fame. He's had a great career of producing and writing films that he doesn't direct as well, with The Transporter franchise films being a few of his hits. He also hired Pierre Morel to direct the film, who was the cinematographer of The Transporter and Unleashed (also produced and written by Besson). Morel has gone on to direct a hit film here in the States, Taken, so I'd like to see what else he has up his sleeve in the near future.

Parkour is the other thing that has been adopted in many action films as of late. A lot of you know it from the opening chase scene in Casino Royale and one of the main bad guys used it in the sub par sequel to Die Hard, Live Free or Die Hard (remember when it was supposed to be called Die Hard 4.0? Remember when it was supposed to be a good movie? Well, not sure about that one...). The funny thing is Cyril Raffaelli was said henchman in the film, showcasing his style to American audiences (which I have to say was the only thing that got any cheers in the film).



I'm not sure if parkour has been beaten to death yet. I've seen it in plenty of commercials, a few movies and even was the central point of the video game Mirror's Edge. It's a cool concept though, which I can see many more stuntmen using in the repertoire, especially with action films trying to up the ante every time. That's a good thing though. Innovation tends to make me a happy camper and I'm always pleased when a good thing becomes... the norm, I guess.

The first film I ever saw it used in was the French film Yamakasi in 2001 (another film co-written by Besson... he's a busy guy). It was a fun little film that I thought nothing else about until I started hearing all these stories of traceur's doing these death defying stunts so fluidly, you wouldn't dare believe it. But now, it's become a way of life for plenty of people who study parkour, and I hope to see it in more film but not used strictly as a gimmick, but more as an enhancement to a film's story and/or action.

So go check out District B13, but with subtitles only. It loses any feeling with the dubbed version. It's a fun action film that won't disappoint. And to people who don't care about story, it's got some cool action sequences which won't bore you in the least. I just can't wait for the sequel, District B13 Ultimatum which came out already in France and comes out here in the States in July. It will have David Belle and Cyril Raffaelli reprising their roles from the first film. I have a feeling they have thought up new ways to thrill the audience with some crazier stunts and action sequences than the first one.

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Netflixorama: Get Carter, Caine Edition

He's cold, amoral, calculating, cool under pressure and despicable. And he's the hero of this story. At least, after watching it again for the first time in many years, Jack Carter is the centerpiece of Mike Hodge's Get Carter. Michael Caine stars as Jack Carter, an English gangster whose brother has died and he wants to get to the bottom of things, so he drops everything in his cozy life in London and goes back 'home' to Newcastle to find out the truth.





Where to begin? Well, it should all begin with the whole British Gangster genre of film, a fun little genre that young people today only know because of Guy Ritchie's films, such as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch and RockNRolla. Also, to a lesser degree, Matthew Vaughn's fun romp Layer Cake. Don't get me wrong, I like all those films but it had to begin somewhere, and it was back in the late 60's/early 70's that the British Gangster film started to gain steam and become lucrative business. In 1971, Get Carter came out and was helping along Michael Caine's career as a leading man, especially after iconic roles in both Alfie and The Italian Job. (Is it just me, or do they always poorly remake Michael Caine films. Think about it, Alfie, The Italian Job, Get Carter and Sleuth are the four films that come to mind, all subpar remakes).

The film is a simple one. Jack Carter's brother supposedly drunk drives into a canal and drowns to death in the process. According to Jack, this isn't something his brother would do, so he takes the train back to Newcastle to see what the true story is. He arranges his brother's funeral (in the smallest coffin ever, but that's just my observation) and asks his brother's daughter why this would happen. She seems distant but says she doesn't know why.



I don't really want to ruin all the little twists and turns throughout the film. It's weird, it's not like I have to put a spoiler alert on a film that's almost 40 years old, but at the same time I battle with giving away too much of the plot away, becoming a Cliff Notes version for these films. So I should give you a bunch of positives as to why you should either own this film or rent it right away.



1) Michael Caine as Jack Carter is worth it alone for everyone to see this film. You see, he was on fire at this point of his career, just delivering very cool roles that are now looked upon very highly in the film aficionado's eyes. In this role, he's just so cool even though when you look at what he does throughout the film, he's a despicable man who is really in it for just himself. Yes, he does care about his dead brother and his niece, but ultimately it really is all about Jack Carter. He just kills everyone in his way or sleeps with them. And sometimes kills them too. Or leads them to death. He throws people over ledges, injects someone with drugs to make it look like an OD, stabs someone to death, beats up a guy and shoots someone dead. But you need to realize the people he's violent too are despicable people too. But when does it all end? Watch the movie and you'll find out. Just remember that Caine will slap the shit out of you.



2) The direction of Mike Hodges. A very stylized directorial effort by Mike Hodges, Get Carter is one film in a very varied career. Films like Flash Gordon and The Terminal Man are guilty pleasure films for me and two of his most recent films, Croupier and I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (both starring Clive Owen), are fine examples that he hasn't given up yet (well, maybe he has with the abysmal Murder by Numbers being his last directorial effort back in 2004). But we're here basking in his fine effort in Get Carter, where he showcases not only fine actors, but the town of Newcastle is a character of its own. People that look worn down, varied scenes throughout the film (such as a dance club, a mansion, a car park and the beach). He also wrote the script from Ted Lewis' novel, Jack's Return Home, and does a good job at reminding you throughout the film that Jack Carter isn't to be trusted but you can't help but like the bloke.



3) The editing of John Trumper, who has had some great genre flicks under his belt (such as The Freakmaker, Circus of Fear and The Face of Dr. Fu Manchu. The way he can juxtapose a love scene with a car ride and not have it look ridiculous is something most films could benefit from today but would probably think it'd confuse too many film goers. Sadly that's a truth I've noticed in speaking with people about film in any way besides them drooling while loving the same tripe they tend to go after.



4) The cinematography of Wolfgang Suschitzky. A name not many people would know or care about. Some of the shots in this film, where it's a distant shot and he'll slowly pan toward the center of attention, is phenomenal. If you want to know what I'm speaking of, check out the opening scene below. Gets me every time.



5) Roy Budd's theme for Get Carter. Don't believe me? Check out Mr. Budd playing the theme below.



A great film that deserves to be seen by more people today. Get Carter was also remade Blaxploitation style with Bernie Casey and Pam Grier the following year in Hit Man.

Want a good crime film instead of the likes of Pride and Glory or We Own the Night? Check this film out with another fine example of the crime film, Point Blank with Lee Marvin. It was also remade, but into a pretty good Mel Gibson starring role in Payback. That's a fine double feature right there.

Oh, Michael Caine would like to thank you all for reading this article as well.



Until next time, the 360 is shutdown.

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Gobstopper: Why the F*** Not?

Before I begin my shpeel, I'd like to give a special thanks to James for allowing me to "do my thang". This is my first of many posts for Combinations Follow and hopefully my warped point of view will be appreciated by all.

Now that I've taken care of that, let's get down to business.



If you can't recognize the man above, than you should seriously consider neutering/spaying yourself with rusty surgical equipment. He is Christopher Allen Lloyd a.k.a. Dr. Emmett Brown from Back to the Future.

I'll assume you know what Back to the Future is because if not than some sort of inhumane euthanasia is in order. I wish nothing but the worst on you and your worthless family whose genes you share. Your souls will not be spared in the afterlife.

Anyway..

I stumbled across a "trailer" for a movie with endless promise. It's a distorted version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The original story was about a group of 5 separate children who won a contest by finding gold tickets in their Wonka Bar wrapper and the prize was a trip to the factory where the scrumptious bars were made. (Not to mention a lifetime supply of chocolate which to me would be a dream come true. Yes, I'm a fat slob who can't enjoy a day without chocolate.)

Gobstopper adds a sweet demented twist on this story and makes Wonka out to be a sick f*ck of a candy maker who's sole intention is to lure these children into his factory for a torturous display of psychosis induced hi-jinx. I've done you the favor and posted the video below.

Please watch prior to reading further...



I don't know about you but every time I watch this trailer, my nether-regions throb nearly explode with excitement at the idea of teenagers dropping "boner"-bombs, chocolaty bars, bloody-thirsty jackass Oompa-Loompas, and Christopher Lloyd at his very best playing a hysterically deranged candy-creating genius. The only downside is being subjected to the chick from Superbad's creepy grill. Her face inspires a non prick friction bathroom break.

As the trailer ended, I went to IMDB.com to check for a release date. I type in "Gobstopper" and find nothing. My heart stops... I type in the name "Christopher Lloyd" and review his upcoming work.

Jack and the Beanstalk...Food Fight...Call of the Wild...SANTA BUDDIES!?!?! WTF.. Where the SH*T is Gobstopper?

I go back to the trailer and noticed what I should've noticed in the first place: the FUNNYORDIE.com link in the bottom left hand corner.

Are you kidding me? This isn't real? What kind of jack-off sadist would drop a trailer of this magnitude in my lap and not follow through with the potential horror flick of everlasting glory?
I WANT TO SEE WEE MAN EAT PEOPLE GODDAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok look. Let's face it. The movie scene right now for me is like taking a stroll through the Sahara desert with no oasis on the horizon. I look forward to seeing horrible movies like "Knowing" just so I can bask in its inadvertent comedic splendor. Don't we all deserve to be entertained by movies with cannibal midgets? Why are we deprived of a film that features horny teenagers walking into a chocolate factory of doom? This is the type of sh*t I live for.

Christopher Lloyd's career must be saved and this is the perfect vehicle to make that happen. I'm ready, willing, and able to begin petition for the production and release of a possible instant classic.

I want to make Gobstopper a reality... WHO'S WITH ME???

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360 is still dead, wondering about Blu Ray

Microsoft has pissed me off to the high heavens when it comes to their customer service. Trying to get in touch with a competent or living entity to help you is impossible, at least for me it was.

To the point that I was considering getting a PS3. I've been wanting one for a long time for some of their first party games (like LittleBigPlanet) and the Blu Ray Player. I actually bought my first blu ray movie, which was Nightmare Before Christmas. I bought it from the dying Circuit City for 70% off, so I thought it would be a grand movie to try out when I do get a PS3. I was wondering what other Blu Ray movies would be worth getting down the line.

Of course Disney/Pixar films always look impeccable, that's understandable. They are the highest order of quality when it comes to video presentation. But I'm just wondering what else is worth the price. And not just for video and sound quality, but for extras. I hate when I see certain movies on Blu Ray, like Predator, for example, and seeing it's a bare bones edition with just a trailer. What the hell is that about? I understand making money on a movie by double, triple and quadruple dipping (or what's happened with movies like Evil Dead II and having 72 versions on VHS and DVD), but when you have a new venue to showcase a classic film, or any film for that matter, why shortchange people by giving us a shitty edition like that?

The film companies will say, "Well, we wanted to make sure the film could look it's best on this new format and most normal shoppers of DVD's and Blu Ray don't really care about extras anyway."

Well, they're wrong there. I'll give my parents as the ultimate example, being very behind the times in certain areas but when it comes to movies they know what they're talking about. But when DVD came out, my parents couldn't understand the whole widescreen/fullscreen debacle. To us film afficionados out there, there is no question as to which version of a film we'd want to see (WIDESCREEN!) but to my parents it was insane to watch a film with black bars on the bottom and top of the picture.

But over time they learned to understand that this was the only way to see a film in it's original way (unless it was filmed in fullscreen) and then started loving the extras that came with them as well. This is the 'normal' film buyer they speak of and they understand the time it takes to not only make a film but to make a truly great DVD.

So all I'm asking is for the big companies (and small ones) to make some killer Blu Ray releases and put a ton of exclusives on them so film geeks like myself have to either upgrade past releases or just buy the Blu Ray instead. I'm asking to spend money on movies. Is that so wrong?

-James

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Peggle Deluxe - XBOX Live Arcade Edition

Some games come along and change your life forever. Be it in a positive or negative light, they still alter your being in some way or another. Peggle Deluxe is one such game. It's the game that got my girlfriend to play my XBOX 360 more often than I do.




And I play my 360 on repeat, to be honest. But there was one of those connections between my girlfriend and Pop Cap Games' addictive little game, originally on the PC, that makes me shake my head in disbelief. I'm the gamer in this relationship. How could she be more addicted to a game than I?

At first glance, the game is a very simple design which ultimately is its most beautiful feature. The main focus of the single-player is the Adventure mode. Here, you'll be introduced to Peggle's cast of characters, each of whom bestows a different magical power for use on his or her level. You'll unlock the power by hitting one of the few green pegs strewn throughout the board. So, for example, while you're playing through Bjorn-the-male-unicorn's level, you'll be able to use the Super Guide power, which shows you where your ball will bounce after its initial impact. When you're going through Splork's levels, you'll be able to use the Space Blast, which just blows away a ton of pegs in a given area. There are considerable differences in how the powers behave, so not only will they add some variety during the Adventure mode, but later in the game you'll be able to pick your favorite power to use on any map, giving you a chance to vary your strategy.

You can easily go through the Adventure Mode in a night, but not necessarily because it's easy. It's more like that book with the killer plot, where you need to keep reading, even though you know sleep is necessary to live. But you tell yourself, "I can sleep for 2 hours this time. I just need to finish a few more levels. I need to hear the chorus of cheer again and see that magical rainbow one more time."

Yeah, I forgot to mention the game has a wicked sense of humor. Little comments come up on the screen, a magical chorus sings when you hit the last orange peg on any given stage, rainbows are being strewn across the screen and the characters themselves are part of the fun. Where else are you going to play as a rabbit with a magic top hat?

To add more gameplay value, when you beat the Adventure mode you can jump right in to the Challenge mode, a series of levels that get more difficult with some additional requirements. These range from the inclusion of more orange pegs, to having to clear the entire board of all the pegs. These challenges add a lot more fun and replay value to an already great game. But I haven't even mentioned playing online!

Multiplayer Peggle has to be the most fun and/or most frustrating part of the game. I've never had a game do that before, and I've played Halo 3. But what do I mean by that? Well, you can play against people in ranked or unranked matches or play locally against someone. The problem comes from other players out there in the land of XBOX Live. I warn you, you will keep on playing, even when someone cuts out mid game because you are schooling them with your unmatched skills. It's happened at least 30 times already and I doubt there's always connection issues. But even with that little nagging fault, it's not the game developers fault that they made a game so simple yet so intense that people feel like it's a 'do or die' situation every time they battle online against someone else.

Would I recommend playing Peggle? Oh, most definitely. It's the best value on the market today and that's coming from someone who loves his arcade games. It's only 800 Microsoft points and I would have spent double that. That's how great the game is. But if you don't believe me, download the trial game. You'll get hooked the moment you start playing those few levels and by the end of it, you'll be entering in your credit card info because you need to know what happens next.

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A rant about film from a film fanatic

What happened to the good old days of genre film? Looking through my DVD collection, which has passed the 1500 movie mark, I see tons of titles of films that would never work nowadays, or better yet wouldn't be able to be sold through any of the big film companies or in any of their smaller 'independent' companies either. Films like Coffy, Thriller: A Cruel Picture, Almost Human, Fight For Your Life or Superfly. Films that pushed the envelope every time and sometimes had a bit of social relevance and sometimes they just offended to get ticket sales. But they always held your interest and people were willing to stick around for double and triple features. We see as a whole this can't be done anymore with the common moviegoer. Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez failed with their fun homage to the genre picture Grindhouse. Seeing it at an advanced screening where there were rabid fans of the filmmakers and celebrities like Dee Snider and the like there, it was a great experience, an experience that I envy my father and others had the chance to see back in the 70's and early 80's.

I also envy the film fanatics who live in Los Angeles and Austin, who have great theaters who cater to genre fans by showcasing the best of the best and sometimes the worst of the worst. It's a real experience to watch a film that's got a bad reputation, such as Faces of Death or I Spit on Your Grave with a bunch of friends at home and being shocked, amazed, horrified, hysterical and all these other emotions that a film can bring to people. But it's another feeling all together to have it blown up on the big screen and to watch it with a crowd of well informed movie fans who are there for that particular reason and not some new multiplex movie that has a bunch of brats and mongoloids who can't bear to leave their phone off for 2 hours, let alone for upwards of 4 or 5 hours. Perish the thought to have a film nowadays without one cellphone going off or hearing someone text right next to you. To see the little luminescent atrocities around you, as if you were at a Asia concert and wanting a shotgun to the mouth in the worst way.

Is there anything wrong in what I'm saying? This is an outcry to fans of film in New York City. We need some good theaters again. Sure, there's a few that will play the new independent film or genre picture that you wouldn't be able to see in North Dakota. But I want old films, films that haven't been blown up on the big screen here in NYC since the heyday of the grindhouse cinema. When you were afraid to go to the theaters. When you would sit on god knows what and try to dodge a bum, a hooker and a cop all in the same aisle, all probably doing one another as well.

I want a theater I can go to and see a Monte Hellman film. Or a Russ Meyer film. Imagine one of his films on the big screen? Hoo boy, blows my mind thinking about it. Hell, I'd love to see Plan 9 From Outer Space on a screen somewhere. Anywhere, it doesn't matter. I just want to feel the excitement the film industry used to showcase. Not to say the quality has gotten worse, but there was a method to a good genre film of the 70's. The way they were so awkwardly paced, you'd think it was by accident. Maybe it was, but who cares? I'd rather watch Cotton Comes to Harlem than a film like The Reader any day, and I think if you gave people a chance with more of a selection, you might have a change in the industry.

But what do I know? Madea Goes to Jail just topped this weekend's box office with $42 million of receipts while Coraline has barely made $55 million and it's got a ton of things going for it that other tripe doesn't, such as a stop motion film by Henry Selick from a book written by Neil Gaiman. How could you lose with that combination? And it's in 3-D too, so you're always a winner when it comes to this experience. But sadly it flounders a bit while shit will always rise to the top.

Henceforth I will be attempting to write an article a day detailing my film collection in general. All the DVDs I've bought over the years and if they are worthy for you, the audience, to see. Maybe on the big screen again or if at all, considering some of these films barely made it on any format in general. You might say that I should do something about it. You're right, I should attempt to do something. Which I will in my own little way by having friends over every week for a double feature. One week will be a Charles Bronson theme, the next it might be a little nunsploitation action. I really do have way too many movies to waste on just myself; why not try to give back to the people who need it the most?

If someone rich is reading this and wants to start doing screenings in a bigger venue, let me know. I'm all for it, especially with so many ideas for film in my head, I might be able to throw one of my soon to be made films within a smorgasbord of some old school faves. The ideas are endless too for cool double features. It's actually got me a big excited right now, so I need to see if people are truly down for this idea. A day that everyone is free in some sort of way is going to be tough, but it is doable.

I just want to make film exciting again. I haven't been excited in a movie since The Dark Knight and before that a handful of films touched me in certain ways but never to the point of a nerdgasm. Watchmen will probably be one of those films, but who knows? The people in the theater might annoy the shit out of me. Actually, I kind of know that for a fact because the advertising has been pretty sly to the fact that I've heard people saying, "Yo this film looks like the bomb. It's like Batman on crack, you know?" Which makes me shudder a bit, but then again gives hope to film geeks everywhere that there might be a chance to get some harder to market films out there.

But do we want to cater to the normal film fan? I'm diverting from the original intent of this blog topic, so I'll cut it short and sweet and maybe divulge a bit more on today's film goer. For now I'll leave it at this; going to start a little film revolution of sorts, even if it has to start in my tiny apartment. I mean, if Russell Simmons and Rick Rubin could start Def Jam Records in their dorm room, anything is possible.

-James

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So what did I think of the new Friday the 13th?

A better question would be why do you even care? But if you've stumbled onto this blog or are one of my many (i.e. 2) followers, then you are truly interested in my thoughts on the remake/retelling/re-imagining/recycling or whatever they're calling it these days of the Sean Cunningham classic.

But better yet, but what do I think of the series of 10 films (11 if you count Freddy Vs. Jason)? To be honest, I have always liked the character of Jason Voorhees but was never a huge fan of the Friday series. Sacrilegious in some horror circles, I know, but I was always more of a Freddy fan myself (even though that series deserves a write-up, cursing the many sequels except for New Nightmare).


Don't get me wrong, I am a big supporter of stuntmen who get the chance to shine through a ton of prosthetics and get to be the main villain (or hero to some) in these films. Especially Kane Hodder, who took full advantage of this in 4 Friday films (and sadly, 3 of which are almost unwatchable and 1 of which is a true guilty pleasure, especially with the death of David Cronenberg right in the beginning).

But then Freddy Vs. Jason came along and I thought it would be a rebirth of sorts to the Freddy of old. But watching it again this past week, I didn't remember disliking it as much as I did. I think initially, the adrenaline pumping through my horror cortex blocked the bullshit meter throughout my body, therefore showing me a film that was good. The high is gone now and the only redeeming quality of that film is Ken Kirzinger's rendition of Jason. He gave Jason a little bit of sympathy, even when he's slaughtering everyone around him. You feel bad for him because ultimately Freddy Krueger is the bastard. But it really seemed that even Robert Englund, who I love to death, was just phoning in a Freddy performance.

So when the re-imagining (that's what they're calling it) of Friday the 13th was announced, I wasn't pissed about it. I wasn't pissed when I heard Kane Hodder wasn't coming back but a newcomer to the mask, Derek Mears, was announced. When I saw a press photo of him, I was astonished. He looked like a massive brick wall with skin on it. So underneath the bulk of Jason's shabby clothes, if he could mime the attitude of Jason then that's all that needed to be done. They announced a new young group of kids who would be wandering around the woods and therefore be easy prey for Jason's machete (or whatever else he could find. He's a handy guy.) So unlike the remakes of Halloween or even The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I wasn't as invested in this film's former films being tarnished. If anything, all you could really do with Jason was go up from a pile of shit.

So I got to see an advanced screening the week before it came out, Saturday the 7th to be exact. I didn't want to review it then, considering it would be breaking the embargo they so lovingly have up and also I wanted to give it a second whirl, to make sure it wasn't the same high I had when seeing F vs J. Seeing it again on Friday the 13th, for my friend's birthday in theater 13 itself with a sold out paid crowd of nincompoops who can't shut up and like to hoot and holler throughout it all, what did I think of it after that?

I want to see it a third time. It's that much fun, an experienced slasher flick which might be the dawning of a new era in slasher flicks in general. Is it a good film? Well, that's a tricky subject. Is it good at what it does? It definitely is great at that. It starts off well, showcasing a little homage to the original Mama Voorhees intro then comes to present day and shows a now hulking brute of Potato Sack Jason from number 2 but as opposed to being a stupid retarded redneck who almost fell on his ass throughout that film, this Jason is more methodical. More menacing and with a wicked sense of humor (I want to know if silicone melts and so does Jason. I'll leave it at that). He picks off each camper with ease and with a pot farm I believe is his (what better way to lure idiotic kids the like that killed his dear old mom), it's a matter of time before the actual hero of the story (played by Jared Padalecki of Supernatural fame) comes into play, looking for his sister who was last seen going to Crystal Lake.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Well, it's a little throwback to number 4 as well. Besides the 3D effects, this retelling of Jason's origin is a cross between the first 4 films but with an update of course. This time, as producer Brad Fuller has mentioned many times before, there's more sex and boobs. I mean, what kind of slasher flick doesn't have that but re-watching the original films, looking back at them all now they seem much more tame than I remembered. It must mean I'm desensitized from all the horror films I've seen, but that can't be all true though. I still get a bit disheartened by films depicting rape and violence intermixed, such as Last House on the Left and I Spit on Your Grave, both of which I've watched once back to back and felt as uneasy as a fat kid on the top bunk.

This film plays with the dynamics of the slasher flick, throwing some sly curveballs at the viewer to throw them off a bit. Showing a room full of possible weapons in a tool shed is a fun little hint at what might come but when Jason ultimately chooses an ordinary screwdriver (which was attempted to be used on him), it's actually the most horrific death in the movie, which made this gorehound here a happy... well, you get the picture.

Is there one actor in this movie that steals the show? Well, I'd have to give it up to two specific actors that make the movie a memorable experience. One of course would be Derek Mears, who gives Jason a new set of moves, throwing some homages to the old films to keep the fans of the series happy. He emits a lot of anger and thought without uttering a word and seeing a Jason that's 6 foot 5 inches running at full speed at someone is kind of like what Danny Boyle did with the zombie movie in 28 Days Later. He took a once scary monster that was getting a bit stagnant and turned up the velocity and made it frightening again, and that's what the folks at Platinum Dunes did for Jason. I never thought I would say that to be honest, but I love being wrong.

The other actor who makes you hate everything he says and want his comeuppance is Travis Van Winkle's Trent. He's such a loathsome character that you can't believe survives as long as he does, but it all makes sense if you've watched as many slasher flicks as I have. The asshole tends to live a long time, basically throwing other good people in the way of the killer to make sure they last just a bit longer. So when he finally gets his, the crowd cheers even though when you sit back and think about it, does he deserve to actually die? In slasher film rules, yes he does. He deserves to die a terrible death. So watch out for him playing a ton of assholes in the years to come (he was also Megan Fox's boyfriend in Transformers, where again he played a sexist creep who you just want to see his nose get broken in 3 spots).

This film won't win any Academy Awards or be liked by the big film reviewers of newspapers and the like, and I'm glad. I haven't followed any film reviewer like that in years. It's a dying breed and the only reason they are still around is because the big film companies love to pay them to give them beautiful blurbs on their movies posters and DVD boxes. The Joel Siegel's, the Gene Shalit's, the Jeffrey Lyon's... and yes, I know Joel Siegel is dead, and I'm quite surprised they haven't rehashed some of his grand commentary on film theory on newer flicks. Nobody would probably notice anyway. Zombie Joel Siegel on the other hand... now there's a thought.

And looking at the box office numbers, it appears to be that Jason is back on top, taking $42.2 million in its first weekend. That a hell of a number, considering the budget was under $20 million. So it's already a profitable film, which means sequel will be announced this week. I actually want to see what they will put Jason through the next one and I'm happy he's not zombie Jason or mystical Jason of later years. Keep him as a living entity, a backwoods boogeyman of sorts that stalks down stupid kids who do stupid things. We're not talking rocket science. Keep them simple, make the kills fun and the victims good looking people and stupid as hell and people will keep coming back. But the deciding factor is Jason and who's behind the mask. Let's keep Derek Mears there. Not only was he the perfect Jason for the new era but he's also a hell of a nice guy with a very strong handshake.

So I'll give the film a See It grade. It's fun, there's some good kills and you actually care about a few of the kids, something I'm not used to. But sadly there's no Crispin Glover type dancing. If there was, this film would be perfect

Coming this week, some more Netflixorama entries. Hopefully I can get back on board and do them as often as I'd like.

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The Maw - XBOX Live Arcade Review

Do you remember the iconic game A Boy and His Blob from the NES? I used to play that game over and over again. Throwing my blob different colored/flavored jellybeans in order to change him into something entirely different was just something that spoke to me when I was 10 years old. What does this have to do with Twisted Pixel's new game The Maw. Well, you are an alien boy who has this kind of blobby dog alien who has an insatiable appetite.


What do you get when you cross aliens, a mysterious galactic force out collecting those aliens, and a bottomless pit in the shape of a blob? You get developer Twisted-Pixel’s hilarious new take on the platforming genre, “Maw”, which hit XBLA shelves on January 21st.

Equipped with only a leash gun, you play as the title’s protagonist Frank; an alien who befriends and controls the real star of the game, Maw, by “leading” him around the levels of the game in order to get him to grow and gain new abilities which allow you to solve the level’s puzzles and continue on through the game. Maw starts out as a tiny pink blob on your screen who is only able to eat the tiny puffball creatures that inhabit the first (and most of the subsequent) planets in the game. As he eats more his size increases and he is able to eat the larger and fiercer creatures that play an integral part of the game. Being able to eat these larger creatures becomes important because as your blobular friend eats certain animals he inherits the abilities that each of these creatures possesses; these abilities become necessary to solve the puzzles that Frank and Maw encounter as they progress through the game’s straightforward level designs.

Though the difficulty has been turned down, controlling Maw can become slightly annoying at times with no true way to get him to go where you would like (all he does is follow you and hopefully he’ll get the hint and do what you were planning for him to do), and the storyline itself is quite bland and mostly non-existent the experience itself is there and will push players forward to finish it. This game is a colorful and light-hearted take on the platformer genre that will have experienced players chuckling at the antics of Maw and newcomers to gaming receiving a good introduction on how a game should be played and especially the definition of what a quality game actually is.

On January 21st The Maw was available on the Xbox 360’s Live Arcade System for 800 points ($10) and is well worth the price tag for anyone who thought that platforming was becoming a bit stale, for parents looking to get their children a light-hearted, kid-friendly game, or for achievement hunters (as most of the game’s 200-point achievements can be received through a weekend of casual playing or a day’s play-through).

Twisted Pixel has also recently announced that Maw will be getting three additional levels in the coming months for the small price of 100 MS points a piece. Each of these levels are supposedly going to flesh out a little bit more of the story and will play as “Deleted Scenes” from the game as well as coming equipped with an additional achievement for each. No specific dates have been given but Twisted Pixel did say that these would be three separate releases from one another.

So as you can see, a fun game overall for the most casual gamer around. Being a bit more of a hardcore gamer myself, I appreciated the fact that they made a very funny and very colorful game that you don't have to take too seriously while playing it. I'll be honest, I haven't felt angry yet while playing it. This game should be given to prisoners to play with in order to rehabilitate them. Yes, government, you can have that suggestion for free.

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