Henry Rollins Double Feature

While battling my zombie eye and the trials and tribulations of a shitty job that could up and disappear at any moment (they like to blame the good workers for former General manager mistakes), I've been watching a plethora of movies, new and old. Especially horror, considering it's my favorite genre (besides the significant genre of the romantic comedy... and if you really know me, you'd know why I'm joking about that).

Tommy, my partner in crime and future co-writer/ co-director came by on his day off, where we commenced on eating some hearty food and watching some good ol' fashioned gore films. And these two had something in common. The one. The only. The best singer in Black Flag and an all around nice guy. Henry Fucking Rollins. Or as Danyell likes to call him, "Our future uncle to our kids". Tommy had brought over Wrong Turn 2 and I owned Feast since the two pack came out, watching it once and loving every minute of it.

Tommy had not seen the insanity within that film. The weird beasts that wear what appears to be a water buffalo on top of what they really are. Sexually deviant beasts who just like to kill, eat and hump. Kind of like mankind, come to think of it. So we watched that one, because it was the one I picked out first. Again having a great time, especially the brilliant performance of one Mr. Rollins, acting outside the box and playing someone he would hate in real life, a self help guru. He gets stripped down to his skivvies and everyone thinks he's going to save the day at one point, until they see his head getting rammed into the wall and ripped apart. Good times had by all. And it has the greatest fake out in many years for a horror film. All I'll say to the people who haven't yet seen it; big time hero comes to save the day. That's all I'll say.

Next up was the sequel to the classic Eliza Dushku vehicle Wrong Turn, which I have yet to see considering when it came out, all I kept hearing was that it was a Hills Have Eyes clone. And I'm a big fan of both the original Craven classic and the redux by Aja. So going into this sequel, we knew we didn't need to know the ins and outs of a hillbilly cannibal extravaganza. We knew it would have plenty of kills, but didn't know how the film would turn out. And all I can say is that it made me want to see the original, hoping that film was as fun and off the wall as this one.

Henry Rollins plays the host to this new reality game show The Apocalypse, a Survivor type show but with the element that it's supposed to be the end of the world and how would you survive. It's the beginnings of the show, and you get to meet all the young and beautiful people who will be on. The first kill is a classic and occurs less than 5 minutes in the film. Patton Oswalt has a brief voice role as the agent of the first girl you meet and say goodbye to in fast timing. A fun kill that really splits people down the middle, if you know what I mean.

But I won't go into details with the film, just saying it's all worth it to see Rollins go into Rambo mode and dispensing of the cannibals in grand fashion. He plays a pure badass, nothing fake about the character he's playing. And it was good to see one of the better Jason Voorhees, Ken Kirzinger, playing the head hillbilly, Pa, with his great hair lip and all. Just a fun film with plenty of inventive kills, some decent acting, plenty of surprises and taking a film that could of been wasted fodder and giving a good name to a franchise. Plus there's disgusting birth scene ala' the prequel to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which goes beyond what gore that had within that film. Plus there's incest... what film has all of that and a random scene of incest after a good hacking?

Fun fun fun!

I'm going to sit back and watch a film that I surprisingly had never watched before, Phantom of the Paradise. Edgar Wright calls it a film that surpasses Rocky Horror Picture Show. We shall see if he is correct.

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Saw V

First off, I'm suffering from the worst sinus infection known to man. It's spread to my left eye, which is now swollen worse than a pugilist's face.

So this review will be short and sweet.

Saw V, where do I begin with you? We have a very strange and torrid love affair. One that transcends the usual boundaries a film fanatic like myself and a movie franchise tends to have. There's been highs. There's been lows. And there's definitely been plenty of 'what the fuck' moments sprinkled within. But I've always been entertained by the films.

The term torture porn comes up a lot when referencing these films. I don't see it like that at all. Of course there's some great gore moments, especially in the new film (one involving a pendulum brought back memories of Corman's Poe films of yesteryear). But instead I see the films and its central 'villain' Jigsaw (even though he's been dead since Saw III) about justice and a play on the morals of mankind. Jigsaw's games are there to give the player the chance to redeem themselves; to get another chance in life and to finally see the wrong they've done in the world. Who is Jigsaw to choose this path for them? That's where it gets a bit tricky to side with him, but sometimes I can't help but see where he's coming from. It all stemmed from his choice shown in Saw IV that after his wife, who was in mid-pregnancy) gets robbed and has the baby killed because of a dope head, he then goes the path of a vengeful god, so to speak.

He's their judge, jury and they are their own executioner. They can choose the path of righteousness and be able to escape, as we've seen in every film so far. People have survived these games, not because they were rigged, but they took their second chance at life anew and ran with it. This is very dodgy material, almost religious in some aspects which I tend to not agree with. But it makes for enjoyable material to see in theaters with a raucous crowd.

What did I like? Without spoiling anything about the film, I loved the traps. Always tend to be original, even though they tend to do the same thing, which is main and rip people apart, both physically and mentally. Tobin Bell was once again great in the role of horror's backseat killer Jigsaw. I also enjoyed the whole backtracking throughout the whole series to tie some things together, some plot holes in some cases, all together to show you how in depth their writers sometimes get to make the world as believable as possible. Returning cast members from all the films was also a great nod to the few fans of the series who pay attention to the story and not just to the gore.

What didn't I like? I didn't like that there was a 6 year old in the theater with his parents watching the film. It's weird, for someone like me who grew up with movies in their lives, I didn't watch a R rated film until I was probably 15 or so. Any type of film I would watch that was R in theaters was trimmed to shit on channels like Channel 9 or 11 here in New York City. I also don't like the new villain, only because my brother and I can't help but comment on his big lips. It's something that annoys the hell out of us. I also still hate all the crazy camera effects and jump cuts that has become commonplace in the Saw films. It just rips my brain and eyes out and pisses on them because I know they don't have to resort to such film school tactics.

So did I like the film? Yeah I did. It was enjoyable. Is it a classic of the genre? Not at all. Not even close. But if you want an hour and a half that's better than some of the other drivel in theaters (Max Payne, Beverly Hills Chihuahua anyone?). I'd definitely check it out again. I did miss about 10 minutes while I was in the bathroom attempting to fix my eye.

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Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

A throwback to the good old days of monster movies with practical effects, no CGI, and a fun lead character with some very bad anger issues.

Was it the best film I've ever seen? Not in the least bit. I saw a bunch of people trashing it on IMDB, which doesn't make much sense, but then when I think about it, that's what people tend to do on that site. And on any other film site, come to think of it.

Jack Brooks witnesses his family murdered in the most horrific of ways, while Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darrin is playing in the background. I bet Kevin Spacey never thought to use that song in such a way.

It was the type of horror film you could tell the people involved really loved what they were doing. Having a bit of fun while also getting a movie done at the same time.

Some good gore effects, a good comedic element that doesn't try too hard (no matter what the fanboys online say), a bad ass lead, some great ridiculous monsters and Robert Englund.

You can't get any better than that.

I bought a few movies today, all horror stuff, because there was a sale going on at Best Buy. The next film on the slate for tomorrow will be Brutal Massacre, the horror mockumentary starring David Naughton, Ken Foree, Gunnar Hansen, Brian O'Halloran and Ellen Sandweiss. I'm hoping for the best. It did get a grand thumbs up from Fangoria.

Hopefully that's a good thing.

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Watching a ton of movies this weekend

Which is always therapeutic for me. It's weird, films make me feel alive in some ways. And not even just the film, but the whole process of film making and how they go from beginning to middle to end of production. It keeps me intent on becoming a filmmaker myself, which will be happening soon. Too many ideas in this brain of mine to keep them silent.

There's many films I have never seen in my 28 years on this world. But if you came over and saw my decadent collection, you'd think I was a film fanatic (which I am). But Danyell hasn't seen as many films in her life, which makes me watching certain films like they were for the first time again.

This weekend consisted of the following films:

1)The Fly, the 1986 David Croneberg remake of the sci-fi classic. Jeff Goldblum is on Level 9 of Goldblum and Geena Davis was still the beautiful dynamo she was back in yesteryear. The special effects are still on top of their game, with the transformation of Brundlefly to the climatic ending that still makes me smile from ear to ear. Fun times are always had with the scientific update of the classic film.

2)Eastern Promises, another Cronenberg film from last year, about the Russian mob presence in England and the trials and tribulations of a driver for the mob boss's son. A grand film that is still in tune with Cronenberg's festival of the flesh and the poetry of violence that has always been prevalent in his films. A fantastic film that probably has one of the greatest fight scenes in the history of film. Let me describe it like this in a few words; one penis, a bathhouse, russian gangsters, knife wounds and did I mention there was a penis involved?

3)Gremlins, the Joe Dante film that made Steven Spielberg realize that there should be a rating between PG and R. Surprisingly violent children's film from 1984 by the Roger Corman alumnus. Still brings back memories from when I would repeatedly watch it when I taped it off of HBO, the only cable channel that we had at the time. The sadly under-used Zach Galligan and the "I've stopped working since marrying Kevin Kline and having a brood of my own" Phoebe Cates star in this fantastic melding of old monster movies, comedic films and the ol' Roger Corman school of not showing your moneymaker until almost an hour into your running time. Just one of those films that will always make me happy when I see it.

4)The Big Fat Kill segment from Sin City. Clive Owen is at his most bad ass, Benicio Del Toro at his most sleazy, Rosario Dawson at her most sexual dominatrix and Brittany Murphy at her most... bad acting. I had bought the recut and extended 2 disc edition, which has the distinction of having the 4 stories separately if you wanted to watch them. Love the movie to death, especially the tons of making of's that they packed on the discs. Also has the great 'Longest Take' segment, showing Quentin Tarantino directing his segment in the film between Clive Owen and Benicio Del Toro, the scene in which Dwight is transporting the bodies to the tar pits and while he's doing so, he's having a psychotic breakdown in the car, speaking to the dead body of Jackie. A great scene, which was the first Quentin Tarantino shot digitally.

5)Hard Candy, the great David Slade film in which I personally think Ellen Page should have gotten some sort of nomination for as opposed to Juno. Patrick Wilson is somehow as charismatic as can be, even though he is assumed to be a pedophile (for those of you who haven't seen it yet) and the battle of wits and strength between the two of them is one of the best on screen in a very long time. The color scheme throughout is great, really taking into effect the overall feel of the film, the mood is one of the main stars of the film. And the castration scene is one of brilliance, bringing the tension to a height that you can only keep ascending from. A great film that more people should watch, especially everyone who is on the Ellen Page bandwagon. And everyone who will soon be on Patrick Wilson's bandwagon after seeing him as Night Owl in the Watchmen movie.

6)Leon the Professional, the international cut, which throws together the whole lover angle that made tons of people feel very uncomfortable in test screenings. Not sure why though; it's played more along the lines of a young girl who had never had a father figure (even though she did in fact have a father, even though he was an abusive drug dealer) and when she is at death's door, so to speak, Leon, played by the fantastic french actor Jean Reno, takes her in, sealing both their fates forever. It was one of the first films Natalie Portman did, and she's fantastic in it. She's vulnerable, yet has a strength all her own that Leon sees is deep down inside of her and agrees to train her because he does care about her, the first person he's cared for since the woman he loved was killed back in Italy. Gary Oldman plays one of the greatest screen villains put to celluloid in the guise of Stansfield, a pill popping lieutenant on the NYPD who also has a huge drug cartel he's in charge of and doesn't care about killing women and children, something a 'professional' would definitely be against. Luc Besson, who has teased at retiring for the past few years (even though he's doing the trilogy of Arthur movies, the kid's books he wrote in France), was truly on a role back then, with films such as La Femme Nikita and The Big Blue under his belt already. It balances a fine line between comedy, action, romance, and mixes it together with a unconventional father/daughter film, and no matter what people say, it's not that creepy. He's just a hired killer who has never had the time to just sleep on a regular mattress, as opposed to always sitting in a chair with one eye open.

A lot of film watching, some Danyell had seen before, some she had not. A fun time for all, with the usual smattering of Law and Order: Special Victim's Unit thrown in between. Sometimes episodic television can help get your minds off of some heavy subjects, even if it's about sexual crimes.

Until next time, sleep has come for my body.

-James

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2019: After the Fall of New York

In The Year 2019, The Future Depends on One Man.

With a tagline like that, it had to be awesome, right?

If you said, "Yes James, I love knockoffs of Escape From New York and The Road Warrior, especially with lasers and sound boxes that kill little people," then you'd be in the same boat as me when I say that I loved this film.

I'm a huge fan of movies about the wasteland of a nuclear fallout, the type that they always predict but hasn't quite happened yet. It's always the near future, in this case 2019, and in the year 1983 when they made this film, it was still 36 years away. In some ways I liked it better than John Carpenter's epic (and no, nobody could ever match Snake Plissken for sheer intensity) but in the form of Tom Cruise lookalike Michael Sopkiw. This was his first of only 4 Italian genre films, and as an alternative to Kurt Russell's Plissken, his Parsifal (yes, a very... strange name, to be had) does the job amiably. You actually want him to succeed, to score the girl and to defeat the baddies on the way to a rocket ship off of this crazy world.

Directed by prolific Italian genre director Sergio Martino (Mannaja being one of my favorite films by him), he was one of the best at capitalizing on a flavor of the week, making it for cheap and using the best of effects, be it gore effects, backgrounds, locations and even some computer graphics, and making the producers some money means going on to the next film. They really don't make films like this anymore, and I wish for a time when the grindhouse type filmmaking comes to fruition again, which I believe we'll see a revival in the next 5 years or so.

So why else is this film so fantastic? Besides the ridiculous plot of out main hero Parsifal being the best in 'death race' type battles (even battling a car of 4 villains with weapons to the death) and winning himself some licenses to kill (which is strange because there is no actual law against killing), winning a transvestite and then letting her go because 1)he's a nice guy and 2)I don't think he swung that way. The future is desperate but Parsifal isn't that desperate.

It's all the Euracs fault, who are the main force in the world. A very Nazi-esque group, they are the combined forces of Asia, Europe and Africa and decided to bombard America with every nuclear weapon they have and thus making the world a sterile place. Luckily one scientist hid his daughter, the last woman on earth who is fertile and it's every man for himself in regards to trying to plant a seed inside her, so to speak.

Insane? Yes, but it somehow keeps the film going, from one set piece to another. To the old MTA trains of the 80's (you know the ones, all tagged up by some of the greatest artists of that time), to the hiding place beneath the United Nations for the little people I mentioned earlier before, it's just and exploitation film lover's dream come true.

What made me even happier was seeing one of my favorite genre actors of the 70's and 80's being in the film. His name of course is George Eastman, born Luigi Montefiori, but used many aliases over the years, appearing in well over 50 films. In this film he plays a character by the name of Big Ape. Yes, he is an ape man, thus showing they even took some slight elements from the Planet of the Apes series of films. He falls in love at first sight with the scientist's daughter and will stop at nothing at 'making a baby' with the sleeping beauty, in order to keep his legacy alive. What better way then to become immortal in a sterile world?

This film has everything. The gouging out of eyes, head's exploding, rats being skewered, random sex scenes, a woman who looks like the spitting image of Darryl Hannah. You even have a little person throwing himself against some old car to kill himself, so he wouldn't tell the Euracs where his new found friends were hiding.

And of course no great film would be complete without the synth score of the De Angelis brothers, better know as the Onion Brothers.

Go check it out ASAP. You won't be disappointed, especially if you have the same taste in movies that I tend to have. Viva Italia!

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Call of Cthulhu

Yesterday I picked up a few movies from work. You're asking yourselves, "What else is new, James?" But I picked up a film I've had on the side for the last year. A black & white silent film version of what many people thought was a story that would never translate to the silver screen. Based on one of H.P. Lovecraft's stories involving one of the Old Ones, Call of Cthulhu somehow gets the adaptation right. Who would've thought a silent film made in 2005 would be the way to do it?

It's a mere 47 minutes, which in today's Hollywood doesn't equal a marketable feature length film, but thanks to the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society, or the HPLHS for short, who help produce film versions of the not so normal and radio plays of other Lovecraft stories, this story which started a whole subculture of stories and which is still translated to screen in various ways (Hellboy to give you an example of Cthulhu on the big screen) is given life in a whole new way.

Produced to look as if it would be a film H.P. Lovecraft would have watched at the time of writing the story, it never looks to be trying too hard to convey that feeling. It is just a great story told in a different way, which a lot of the thanks has to go to Andrew Leman and Sean Branney, the director and writer for this film. They had the heavy handed task to take a story which in some ways is more about the feel of fear and death and make it appear on the big screen in a german expressionist way. The props, the title cards, the retro special effects, the silent acting (which I don't care what anyone says, watching a good silent film actor means forgetting you're not hearing the words but just seeing them mouth them but not even realizing it), everything works. One of the most important things within a silent film is also the score. Chad Fifer, Ben Holbrook, Troy Sterling Nies and Nicholas Pavkovic do an amazing job and are all names everyone should be looking out for in the composing world.

I really can't say anymore besides everyone who either loves Lovecraft, prefers a story driven horror film and/or wishes the talkies had never come about should check out this film. And go to http://www.cthulhulives.org and check out the other films, radio plays and buy some stuff from them. Keep these films funded, because the majority of the production budget is paid for by the fans themselves buying the cool t-shirts and props that they painstakingly reproduced for nerds like myself. Besides Stuart Gordon (and one day Guillermo Del Toro), H.P. Lovecraft has been given the love he deserves in the independent field, so let's keep the good fight going.

Miskatonic University forever!

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Random thoughts in this Irish noggin of mine

This will probably end up being a crazy blog entry, showcasing how erratic my thinking patterns tend to be.

Danyell and I found this fantastic supermarket near us called Great Wall Supermarket. As you can tell, it's an Asian centric market with tons of food and drink from the far east. All I had to say was that we bought up a ton of stuff, like specialty Pocky, mock chicken, different canned foods, a bunch of drinks (some of which were abysmal, like this one coconut drink with pieces of coconut inside. It actually tasted what I think a cadaver would taste like... which reminds me, I'm a bit hungry).

Also a few weeks back I took my friend Tommy to see an advanced screening of the film Choke and I was attempting to write a review for it right away. Then a day later. Then a week later and nothing came sprouting out of my head. And the more I thought about it and also via a discussion with Tommy after we both digested the film fully and it passed through our collective colons, I realized that the film was average at best. Don't get me wrong, I love the source material to death. I'm a huge fan of Chuck Palahniuk, loving his books Survivor, Fight Club, Invisible Monsters and of course the already mentioned Choke. David Fincher's adaptation of Fight Club is still in my top 50 films of all time, even with the meathead love for it (which always amused me, due to the overtly homoerotic themes throughout the film and book).

And thinking again about Clark Gregg's adaptation of Choke, it comes across as a very mediocre, almost student film-esque quality to it, even with the fantastic performances from Sam Rockwell and Anjelica Huston. It's just the editing, the direction, the other actors (except for Gregg himself, playing Victor's vulnerable boss Lord High Charlie), the pacing. Everything about it felt lacking. Especially the female lead, played woodenly by Kelly Macdonald, surprisingly because she was really good in No Country for Old Men. It's a film I'll have to revisit on DVD, especially since I know Danyell wanted to see it initially and for some reason this country has a thing against SEX.

Also recently seen was the horrible to high heaven remake of The Wizard of Gore. Not even a film with the likes of Crispin Glover, Brad Dourif, Jeffrey Combs and the nakedness of the Suicide Girls, could save that disaster. It just felt like it was made in a serious way, yet most of the actors weren't told that on the set, so you're getting truly hammy performances, which actually save it from being a film I'd burn alive at the stake. I can't pinpoint one reason as to why this film stinks. I'll list a top 5 reasons as to why I'd rather watch paint be poured down my urethra then see it again.

1. Wasting the likes of Jeffrey Combs in a speechless role for about 90% of the film until a big 'surprise' of a climax that makes you go, "Did I miss something important? Like a plot?"

2. Calling Brad Dourif on the set of Deadwood and piling up a ton of cash for him to play such a boring foul mouthed character just to progress the story and have his name on the box art.

3. Making me bored of naked punk girls. But only for about 5 seconds. Then I realized that instead of being bored by them, I was just bored by the movie. So Girls, I still love you.

4. Having Kip Pardue as your star. God, he fucking blows. I know he took the role pretty seriously, because he was the only one trying to come up with some character nuances, like gasping into a paper bag when excited and wearing hip clothing to show that he's a reporter really trying to get to the bottom of the shenanigans throughout the film. Just tried to hard. As opposed to Bijou Philips, who I tend to love (and was also in Choke) but she was as wooden as a board in this film, showcasing pain as if she was in remedial acting class. Shame on you Bijou.

5. And finally, this movie sucked so much, it made me think of the original film in a whole new light. I now think it's a better film than the remake (and yes, I do own the film. I had a Herschell Gordon Lewis kick a few years back.)

Other than that, I picked up a few films today, one of which I'm about to pop into my DVD player and get off my laptop to give my undivided attention to, which is the recent black and white silent film production of The Call of Cthulu. When I'm done with it, I'll be back to review it. I'm hoping it's as good as it looks.

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Not movie related... friend related

Every so often my heart actually warms up to someone around me. Danyell knows this curse all too well, but there are others who have been lucky enough to see the side of me I only show a handful of people.

One of which is my friend, confidant, inside jokester and various other complimentary adjectives Noemi. I don't think I let her know enough what she means to me, considering I don't share my feelings that often.

Today is her birthday (catching up to my old age) and I sadly couldn't see her. But tomorrow might be a different story, hopefully. We shall see. To see the group of true friends, ones that I don't have to ever hold anything back from. Far and few between.

And with Noemi, she's living the dream right now, working on the sets of movies and tv shows. I'm very envious, but in the older brother way that is really me being truly proud of her, especially all that she's been through these last few years. We've seen highs and the lowest of lows (reminds me of a ugly baby pincher) and it's only been a handful of years now.

It's funny how we met. Through another girl who I'd become friends with online. Someone we both don't talk to anymore, yet we saw a common thread amongst ourselves. And the core group you've introduced me to, I'll take them over my past friends any day.

I just wanted to change up this blog a little bit, let a friend know that they are appreciated and missed and wish I could see them more often than I do now.

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A new blog you say?

Just re-watched Blade for probably the 15th time. Danyell made a good point that even though she enjoyed the film, she saw the film as a pretty poorly directed story. And being a lover of the Blade character I could only agree with her. Looking at it from another perspective helped me see a ton of the flaws throughout the film. Some of the dialogue leaves a lot to be desired. Also the whole La Magra Blood God thing that Deacon Frost speaks about causing a chain reaction to change everyone into vampires... well, then what will they all feed on? It's always been a flaw in vampire films that they want this vampire apocalypse to occur but will ultimately starve to death.

But I still like the film.

I also bought a laptop for myself, my first. A very simple mini laptop from ASUS. I've fallen in love with it already, writing like a maniac on it. Which means I'll be updating my blogs on some sort of a regular schedule, especially since this thing is super portable.

Here's a picture of it:



So now while I watch all the making of documentaries on the Blade dvd (which are really good by the way), I'm going to get myself some snacks and then go pass out. I haven't been sleeping too well this past week and a half.

Oh, and thank you to Andrea for personally suggesting the film Tokyo Gore Police to me. I'll be seeing it tomorrow, especially after that commercial on Twitch you showed me.

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